****
Four stars
ALL I EVER DID WAS LOVE A MAN by Sharon Denise Allison-Ottey is a story of Sabrena, a single mother who leaves her verbally abusive husband and finally gets her life together. She finds a job that provides for her two daughters. She has a great friend, Rach, who is like a sister to her; and she has a piece of a man, Steve.
Steve started out as a good man, but soon became very wishy washy. Sabrena can't depend on him for anything, except to tell a good lie when he's caught awkward situations. Despite the heartache, Sabrina loves him, but after a visit with her gynecologist she breaks it off with Steve for goo. It's her follow-up visit that will send her world into a tailspin.
For me, ALL I EVER DID WAS LOVE A MAN was a slow read, but a necessary one. The reader will be taught through experience the importance of protecting yourself when you suspect your lover is not monogamous. It also touches on AIDS among married women, which as of the 2005 statistics was on the rise among African American women.
Reviewed by:
Shani Greene-Dowdell
www.shanibooks.com
Author of Keepin' It Tight
Reviewer for Big Time Publishing Magazine
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Here is an interesting article that I found on Let's Talk Honestly's website last week. The thing that stood out the most to me is the fact that blacks account for 56% of the new AIDS cases while we are only 13% of the population. Also, the fastest growing age group in the AA community is 14-24. This is not only a statistic; it's an epidemic!!
(See article)
HIV rate continues to climb in African American community
ATLANTA — More than 25 years into the AIDS epidemic, HIV continues to soar in the black community, accounting for more than half of the newly diagnosed infections in the U.S. in a recent yearly assessment by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
At the same time, health officials say, the African-American community has been slow to acknowledge the problem, prompting the CDC and grass-roots organizations to mark a yearly observance to bring attention to the epidemic.
Wednesday is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, a national effort designed to mobilize blacks to get tested, educated and treated for the disease. Well-known African-Americans — including Tony Dungy, head coach of the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts; entertainer Patti LaBelle; Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.; and former Secretary of State Colin Powell — have joined the campaign by taping public-service announcements to run on radio and television.
Of the roughly 1 million people estimated to be living with HIV in the United States, 47 percent are African-American, according to CDC statistics for 2005, the most recent year for which numbers are available. Though blacks represent only about 13 percent of the U.S. population, 56 percent of the newly diagnosed cases in 2005 were African-Americans.
"The ability to manage this terrible disease has improved and more people are living healthier and longer lives, but African-Americans have been diagnosed late and are not availing themselves to treatment," said Dr. Kevin Fenton, director of the CDC's National Center for HIV, STD and TB Prevention. "The stigma within the community has prevented people from getting tested and accessing services needed to help manage infections."
African-American women are disproportionately affected, and black men who have sex with men have a much higher rate of infection than men of other backgrounds who have sex with men, Fenton said.
"HIV is closely associated with socioeconomic disparity in our country. Poverty, poor access to services and lack of knowledge all factor into this," said Fenton. "Stigma, homophobia and lack of open conversation in the black community have further compounded the problem."
To increase early detection of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, the CDC recently issued a new policy recommending that HIV testing become a routine part of medical care for Americans 13 to 64 years of age. It should be given much like a cholesterol or blood-pressure test, the CDC said, adding that patients should be allowed to refuse the HIV test if they choose.
Illinois state Rep. Mary Flowers recently introduced a bill in the Illinois legislature that would include HIV testing in routine physical examinations that Illinois students take before entering school. HIV tests would be administered during school physical exams, just as tuberculosis tests and vaccinations are given.
Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is an important part of a comprehensive awareness program to stop the spread of the disease, according to supporters, and it helps to get the message out.
"Black people are going to have to take responsibility for themselves in this epidemic," said Debra Fraser-Howze, president of the National Black Leadership Commission on AIDS. "We have to make some serious decisions, a decision to first talk about the epidemic and a decision to own it. It is ours, with 56 percent of all new infections."
While there has been progress in confronting the disease in the black community, Fraser-Howze said, much work remains in getting the subject to the forefront in churches, schools and community groups. And while much attention has been given to the epidemic in Africa, not enough has placed on the problem in black communities in the United States, she said.
"We are in a quandary because we as African-Americans have to be concerned about what is going on in Africa. But at the same time we are concerned about Africa, we have to be concerned about South Central Los Angeles. Both have to be addressed," said Fraser-Howze. "Funds are dwindling and everybody is taking money to Africa when African-Americans are dying in this country."
2 comments:
The book, All I Ever Did Was Love a Man, literally changed my life. I am one of the statistics, I have HIV and it was given to me by my husband of eight years. I found out that he had AIDS about three days before he died--- he told me that he had cancer and his doctors never gave me the full story. He confessed to me with his best friend at his bedside--- both that he had AIDS and that he and his best friends were actually "partners". I can't tell you the devastation---we have one child together and I honestly never even thought that my husband was homosexual. He was a "manly" man and actually would make jokes about effeminate men. We had an active sex life-- several times a week until he became very ill and even then we would occassionally have sex. Ironically, in the last two years he expressed that he wanted to have another child and we were working on it.
I met the author, Sharon Allison-Ottey,at MegaFest 2006 where she was speaking and purchased the book. At the time, I had no idea that this was a story that mirrored my life. I only read it a few months ago after my husband died and I was dealing with my own diagnosis. I had a plan of how to end my life and only wanted to make sure that my child was taken care of--- I read this book--it was if God lead me to it. I unfortnately can also say "All I Ever Did Was Love a Man" and he gave me HIV and heartbreak. I learned so much by reading the book--not just about HIV but about me and my choices. Also about my friends and just life. I loved this book as it was a great read for me that caught me at page 1 and kept me through. On another note-- I have chosen to live and the letter to Sabrena from Vance changed my life. I have it copied and next to my nightstand. I am living with HIV and I will love again. I thank Dr. Allison-Ottey for writing this book and you for promoting it. I am a woman that is forever grateful for each day.
Anonymous,
This book is definitely an eye opener for women without HIV and one of hope to women living with it. I promote it especially to our African American community.
I get so many different emotions reading your response. HIV is an epidemic that has striken our community and we have to take it back. As a wife (with a manly husband), it saddens me to hear stories about husbands who lay with their wives and then lay with men, or other women for that matter, knowing that they can bring the unknown back home. It goes to show that even in God's holy sanction of marriage that the devil is always looking for a rift to slide himself into.
I wish you a lifetime of blessings, love and peace sistah! God's speed.
Shani
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